When it comes to major events that carry a very emotional meaning to it, we remember where we were and what we did that day. September 11. Graduating from high school and college. Our first kiss. Getting married.

January 26^th has carried an emotional meaning for me the past two years.

Exactly two years ago, I made a big step towards “leveling up” by getting the car I wanted after holding out for more than seven years.

Exactly one year ago, one of my heroes tragically passed away in a helicopter crash.

Getting the car I wanted was a big step in embracing that my biggest growth is ahead of me. For years, I embodied the concept of frugality to the point that sometimes I was stingy with myself. I did not set the thermostat below 78ºF during the humid summers and above 65ºF during the snowy winters in the East Coast to save money on cooling and heating costs. I did not get a TV or fancy leather couches in my apartment, with much of my furniture donated to me. When parts of my Toyota Corolla started falling apart, I made it look somewhat presentable as the body paint faded away by replacing broken door handles, replacing the original stereo, replacing the headlights, and continuously replacing the air filter. At one point, my car was so low on oil and freon that my co-worker who is well-versed in cars compelled me to continue checking the fluid levels. This mindset of frugality was fostered from growing up in a lower-middle class family, where money was tight and not having a father to fall back on.

Yes, I was frugal in the past and am still conscious when it comes to spending these days. At the same time, we must also enjoy ourselves while we are still physically able to do so. We don’t want to wake up 10 to 20 years from now filled with regret for not enjoying ourselves more just because we were stingy and afraid to take risks.

My hero passing away was a reminder to remain focused and be held accountable on the goals I set. To keep fighting the self-doubt and Resistance. To not use the past or ailments as an excuse for giving up.

In the past year, I found closure on an unfinished goal from seven years ago. I found someone whom I see myself sharing my life with after struggling with self-confidence and dating pretty women for much of my 20s. Lastly, I earned results in my career through a promotion and notoriety with the team as a smart dude and joke-teller.

Leveling up with the car I wanted and getting non-nosebleed seats to a Laker game, embracing my inner Mamba Mentality 🤙

As Kobe’s death had shown us, there is no guarantee we will live to be 70 years old and beyond. If we do so, great! We are blessed to have lived that long. If not, we would have made the graveyard even richer with the untold stories that could have been shared and the ideas yet to be discovered and developed if we don’t level up to our best selves.

What hurt the most was not only the loss of lives that day, but also the untold stories and lessons those lost could have passed on to the next generation. Kobe was one of the few athletes who smoothly transitioned into retirement and found an inner peace, knowing he gave it his all when he had the chance to do so in the basketball court. We often see former athletes bitterly talk about the current generation of athletes, as if seeing the current generation being successful bothers them because they know they didn’t give it their all when they had the chance to do so. Kobe was happy to see the current generation of athletes thrive, and to see LeBron join the Lakers and pass him in all-time points scored. Seeing the what-ifs for him and the family he left behind reminded me about my father.

There are days where I wonder what my life would have been if my father were still alive. Would my mother and I all be living in a house instead of an apartment for more than 20 years? Would I have been more self-confident to earn better grades, attend higher-ranked schools, and date more women? Would I have developed closer relationships with friends and family?

On the flipside, would I have developed strong relationships with my mother and Mama? Would I have learned about investing and appreciated the process of earning money without the help of my parents? Would I have articulated and embodied the concept of a grounded man, who leads with love and gives his best for his future wife and children? Would I have understood that there is a world outside of Southern California if I hadn’t lived and traveled to many places, knowing my parents weren’t adventurous?

There’s a reason why things happen the way they do in our lives.

Our struggles in this world aren’t because God and life are against us, but rather God and life are for us. There is something God and life want us to see, so that we can become the people we are meant to be.

Taking actions to level up, looking forward to the future with optimism are what make life that much sweeter. We enjoy the sweetness and good times by embracing the seasons of life’s sourness. We find clarity in the present, instead of dwelling in past regrets and worrying about unwritten futures.

In the process, our Bulbasaurs evolve into the Venusaurs we are meant to be. Our Charmanders into our Charizards. Our Squirtles into our Blastoises.

If we can look back knowing we gave our best efforts despite where we came from and the hardships faced along the way, then we have made our lives worth living, those around us better, and the graveyard not any richer.

Thanks again, Kobe, for the lessons you have taught me. Noy Sauce out. (until next week ✌)