It’s been almost a month since my mother and I got a place we can call “home” after a long 19-year journey since my father passed away. The moving process was full of ups and downs, mentally and emotionally, as we had moments feeling overwhelmed on what needs to be done and how to best do so.

One of the frustrating parts of the move was my mother constantly questioning me about the move when we still had time to make arrangements.

“Did you call the utility company? “

“Where will we get the movers?”

*sigh* “There’s so many things to sort and organize. Oh, God…”

At one point I yelled at my mother in frustration for not allowing me to possibly make the mistakes necessary to live and learn during this process. It was as if she was afraid of embracing the next step of our success as a family.

Close to 40 years ago when my mother was single and my grandmother was alive in this world, my grandmother guilt tripped my mother and aunt into supporting our family in the Philippines. My grandmother told them that “Mayad kamo nagkaon kamo sang hamburger”, which roughly translates to “It’s nice that you can eat a hamburger [in America], while your family back home [in the Philippines] cannot”.

While my grandmother had good intentions in reminding my mother and aunt of their blessings, the guilt trip, in my opinion, was a big reason why they became afraid of their own success to the point they did not take vacations for themselves to appreciate their hard work. My grandmother also didn’t expect Jollibee to serve hamburgers to our kababayans (countrymen) in the Philippines 😉

Ever since my mother and I moved, my mother has slept well at night and has taken naps during the day (which rarely ever happens). She found a greater peace of mind than before, knowing that our place is slowly becoming a home as we have more room now to appreciate.

When I Turned Pro back in 2018, I wrote a list of goals on what I wanted to accomplish in life. However, there was a part of me that did not want to read those goals each day because I was afraid of my own success – and the painful learning experiences needed to experience before reaching that level of success.

It’s amusing how life works. When we pray for courage, God doesn’t instantly make us courageous. He gives us opportunities to be courageous. When we pray for unity and healing, God doesn’t magically make us united and healed. He gives us opportunities to be united and healed. Will these opportunities be our downfall? Or our upfall?

As I broke those goals into smaller and more manageable milestones with deadlines, I lived and learned, gaining confidence with each action taken. Greater humility to not take failure so personally. Patience that I’m a work in progress and will eventually get there. The belief that I got this and am worthy.

These moments of living and learning prepared me for my current relationship.

In my relationship, my girlfriend is used to organizing get togethers and trips months ahead of time. She gets anxious about things possibly not working out that it stresses her out. Before we had our trip, she sent TikTok videos of places she’d like to visit and experiences to try. To ease her stress, I made an itinerary on what we’ll do for each day of the trip, based on those TikTok videos and experiences I thought she’ll like. I asked for her thoughts and feedback after showing her the draft, as we worked as a team to finalize the plan together. While not everything went according to plan, we accomplished our most important goals and ended up with a fun-filled trip together.

She felt a sense of relief that someone else took initiative. I simply tell her, “Don’t stress so much. Just stay pretty. 🥰”

Telling others your intentions of success is not enough. There will be pushback in the form of people being nervous and questioning you. You must show them your intentions through action, acknowledging the fear and possible failure that comes with it.

While certain mindsets served us well in the past, we must also look forward to new ways of thinking that will serve us better in the present and moving forward. Playing it safe, which had served well in the past, is not living fully in this modern world and leads to stagnation.

Since writing those goals back in 2018, my mother and I went on trips out of town every few months, with my aunt sometimes joining us. We stay at better hotels and eat at nicer restaurants than we did in the past, giving ourselves the freedom to enjoy ourselves and appreciate our hard work. When eating with my mother and aunt, I cut a piece of steak, raise it on my fork, look up, smile, and then say, “This steak is for you, Lola.” It’s an acknowledgment to our Lola that we did not forget where our family came from as we appreciate how far we had come and look forward to what happens next.

Pray. Hope. Take Action. Don’t Be Afraid of Your Own Success and the Person Whom You’ll Become.