Recently, I have been inspired by the numerous posts on the Internet regarding “Things to Do in Your 20’s” and “What Would I Tell My Younger Self”. Now that I am in my late 20’s soon approaching my 30’s, I figured that writing a letter to my 20-year old self would be an amusing project to do. This is not so much a letter marking the end of a chapter in my life, but rather, a reflection to look forward to a brighter future not only for myself, but also for those who are looking for inspiration.

Dear 20-year old Marlon,

I am Noy Sauce, your future self’s alter ego/pseudonym, and am writing to tell you to enjoy your 20’s for what it will be.

The drive behind your pursuit for success, professionally and personally, will evolve. I understand your desire of proving to others your worth, because of your pain growing up as a teenager without a father. But, I advise you to enjoy the journey of life itself as you live each day. People do not care as much about what you do or what you have done as you think they do. Maintain a quiet and defiant confidence that you can get things done, and then people will be drawn to your awesomeness.

You will be envious of people’s accomplishments and contrived posts in social media. Likewise, some of them may also be envious of your own accomplishments and occasional social media posts based on their reactions in person. Rather than be envious, be thankful for what you do have. A solid education and soon-to-be life experience as a young adult in the East Coast. A Mom and a Mama to adequately fill in the void left by Dad. A large and loving family spread out around the world. A full stomach before going to bed every night. By expressing gratitude, your problems are not as bad as they appear to be, and you will realize that plenty of things had to go right for you to be where you are today. Invest money in Facebook stock, not time in your Facebook news feed. Spend your afternoons learning a new life skill or exercising, instead of spending money shopping and drinking with friends. Keep a low profile and be humble about your personal accomplishments, because your actions will speak louder than any shared post that is only passing. As Lil’ Wayne would say, “Real G’s move in silence like lasagna.”

You will get rejected many times by the ladies. Your heart will be broken to the point that close friends and family do not know what to say that will ease the pain. And that is okay! If you had married and had children with those ladies who broke your heart, you will be miserable, questioning why you had settled for them. Those experiences of rejection will teach you to not solely rely on feelings, and instead, to hold on to your faith and to have a high self-esteem. Take your time to heal from the pains, but do not take too long because you might miss out on what is in front of you! As you show love to those who matter most to you, your broken heart will slowly melt into a state in which it can be rebuilt into a stronger and more resilient heart. Be open to meeting new and interesting ladies, and as Mom would say, “Collect and select!” Do not settle out of scarcity, or because you are afraid of losing those relationships. Finding that someone who is right for you is perhaps the most important decision you will make, so select wisely!

You will travel to many places that you did not think you can visit on your own. Once you realize that you do not need to wait for the perfect time or for someone to go on a trip with, you will be filled with an adventurous curiosity towards those places you visit. Boston. Chicago. Virginia Beach. Pittsburgh. Europe. You will do silly activities, such as zip-lining, riding roller coasters, taking pictures with your favorite musicians at bars, and drinking a few days before running a marathon. You will take out your GMAT study guide and pretend to study in front of the attractive Indian lady on the flight to Chicago, hoping that she will notice you. In fact, she will notice your “studious” demeanor and you both will end up sharing a pleasant conversation in the plane. There will be temptations wherever you go, particularly when the pretty Italian hostess at the hostel in Rome gives you a “do me” vibe inside your guest room. If you can keep the ladies from tasting your Yum Yum sauce, the future Mrs. Noy Sauce will appreciate you even more.

You will do plenty of community service, not because you were ordered by a judge to do so, but because you will find a fulfillment that goes beyond striving to be a better person each day. Some people will fail to appreciate your hard work and take your presence for granted. You will give so much of yourself that it hurts. And again, that is okay! For those times you took Mom and Mama for granted, and how they continued to love you, especially when you almost got academically suspended in college, are reminders to grin and bear it. You will understand the essence of unconditional love once you give without any expectations. Bad habits of impatience, lofty expectations, and fears of the unknown will be pruned away for patience, lofty hopes and faithfulness, and excitement for what happens next.

You will inevitably have problems with people whom you encounter at work and in your personal life. Whether it is due to misunderstandings, unmet expectations, or the fact that the person is a total jerk, how you react to those situations matters more than the actual situations themselves. If possible, talk to them. Otherwise, keep your distance from them. You will have trouble letting people know where they stand because you are afraid of offending others, but keep in mind that you cannot always let those people offend you. Calling them “ang hijo de puta” behind their backs will only get you so far. Instead, pray for them and forgive them, no matter how much you want to punch them in the face. Remember, holding grudges is like drinking a poison, hoping that the other person dies.

As you change for the better, your friends, too, will change for their own betterment. Do not fret or hold bitterness against them, simply because they failed to reciprocate your kindness, or failed to return your calls and texts. We served a purpose for each other at that period of time in our lives. Cherish those experiences and times you had shared with them for what they are, and move forward with your life. Meet new people whose values align more closely with your own, and who encourage you to be a better version of yourself each day. For those friends whose bonds have so far withstood the test of time, be even more thankful for having them in your life. If you are still feeling down about losing friends, play the song “Gotta Go My Own Way” from High School Musical 2 and go for a run outside around the neighborhood afterward.

There really is no secret sauce for success. You just need to persevere, pick yourself up after falling down, not be so hard on yourself, and have a curious optimism that you will move past what challenges life throws at you, all of which are easier said than done. But knowing what fuels you, you will find a way to get there, challenge be damned.

The purpose behind your pursuit for success will evolve from the “desire of proving to others” into “not wanting to just settle for what you know you can already do”. Even though you may think of yourself as a failure at certain times in your journey, people will think you are successful for the reason that you did not just settle.

Well, I do not want give you additional spoilers on what your 20’s will be, because you need to experience them for all of this to fully sink in and be a part of you. Take care, and we shall meet soon.

 

Cheers,

Noy Sauce

 

  • hijo de puta is Spanish for “son of a bitch/whore”; in my family’s Filipino dialect of Hiligaynon, it is pronounced as you-dee-poo-tah. If you listen to someone say those words during a conversation, I dare you not to laugh.