I recently joked with my mother that it was just a few weeks ago that I was on the road driving from the Rockies back to Southern California and here we were driving up to the Central Californian coast for a trip. I had stayed awake late until that early morning because of work, leaving me deprived from much needed sleep. Yet, the excitement for another weekend getaway was more than enough to push through the exhaustion by driving three hours straight.
Later that evening, we went to an outdoor art exhibit called the Field of Lights, which is known for its lights that illuminate the field at nighttime. While walking in this field full of lights in the dark, breathing in the cool, crisp air, I was reminded that only we give can ourselves the freedom to do what matters most to us. We have been indoctrinated in our culture and education to wait for someone else’s approval, whether it is our parents’, friends’, significant others’, before taking action.
In this case, we gave ourselves the freedom to travel when most stayed local.
This trip to the Field of Lights reminded me about the summer of 2015 when I took a weekend trip to Virginia Beach. I had experienced a series of rejections from women a few months leading up to that trip, which made me feel even more lonely in going on solo trips. Looking back at that time of my life, I would have told my 26-year-old self that it’s okay. Keep going on these solo trips even though it feels uncomfortable being out by yourself. Uncomfortable visiting unfamiliar places. Uncomfortable not being fully over from the rejections. Eventually, you’ll give yourself the freedom to have more fun without anyone else’s approval and laugh at yourself for missing them in the first place!
Circa 2015. Met the DJ duo The Jane Doze performing at Virginia Beach (left). Went ziplining near Virginia Beach on the way home (right).
The discomfort from taking action when we are not 100% ready stretches our way of thinking. The discomfort from solo trips, like the one to Virginia Beach, built mental strength, character, and patience, all of which have served me well in my relationship. Many of the women whom I met before my girlfriend actually find it awkward being by themselves, especially when eating at a restaurant. The experiences of being alone became stories that I later shared with women – introducing women into your world is what game is all about!
Women are looking for someone to lead them, but they want to be led by someone that they believe in.
The more problems you solve, the greater mental strength, character, and patience you will have to be that someone whom women believe in.
Without a problem in our lives, we have a problem. Our monkey brains will come up with reasons as to why we should not be enjoying the moment. 🙈
A mental trick that I use whenever my mind drifts into negative thinking (and when I can remember to use this mental trick) is to do something else that takes my mind off the negativity.
That could mean taking a day trip about an hour away from home. Ordering good food from the local restaurant. Cleaning the house while listening to trashy music. Or writing for the Noy Sauce blog.
I recently shared a conversation with my mother about some pain she had been feeling in her feet. The pain has been bad enough that it discouraged her from walking outside in the late morning, which she used to do everyday.
However, the pain did not stop her from driving to church every day for morning mass before going to work or from catching the sunset on the beach during our weekend trip.
She gave herself the freedom to focus on going to and attending mass, which took her focus away from the pain she’s been experiencing. She gave herself the freedom to walk on the boardwalk by the beach and ask the lady to take her picture, which also took her focus away from the pain.
The same principle can be applied to whatever pains we are going through. If what we are working towards means so much to us, we will give ourselves the freedom to make a way (with the help of God’s grace) to accomplish our goal.
Take a step back. Take a deep breath. Pray. And carry on.
You were always free.
Enjoying the sunsets at the Field of Lights and at the beach with my mom 😎