One of the first things that came to mind when owning a place is wanting to “truly make it mine.” When we closed on our place, I immediately bought brand new appliances I would appreciate owning after having flimsy appliances in my apartments over the years.
Of course, nothing went according to plan as it took almost a month for the store to deliver and install the appliances. When the technicians came, they found a couple of problems with our kitchen set up that our dishwasher and refrigerator couldn’t be installed. After almost two months of owning our place, we still don’t yet have all of our appliances installed.
In the meantime, I’d sometimes spend time staring at the washing machine and dryer cleaning our clothes, amazed at the washer and dryer injecting steam as the clothes tumble in the drum, as if I just saw a washer and dryer work for the first time. This is what years of using coin-operated washers and dryers with only 3 settings (low/medium/high) has done to me.
So what did this experience of waiting for our new appliances teach me? Our lives are all a work in progress.
When I did some market research a few months ago on men’s pain points, I found that many men looking for a relationship struggle with loneliness and self-acceptance. I felt their pain.
For most of my 20s, I struggled with loneliness and self-acceptance, not having a father and mentors who had the results I desired. I was misled by our education system and the highlights on social media, failing to understand the struggles that went behind those highlights.
So what would present-day Noy Sauce dripping swag goo tell his younger self? Have many goals to work for that you’d be happy to do on your own without anyone’s approval. This starts with coming up with a plan and being clear on what to work on. One of my mentors told me, “Take many journeys at the same time and don’t wait!” This means that we don’t wait until we finish a single goal before working on the next goal, and rather, work on many goals and parts of our lives at the same time.
There will be many times of discomfort along the way, and that discomfort is what transforms us to be the people worthy of our goals and success.
When I worked on my dating life, I attended events and activities I’d be happy to do myself. When I lived across the country for a couple of years, away from home, I served in community. Sure, I might have gotten rejected in my dating life while serving in community, but the rejections didn’t stop me from the main goal: to serve. This sincere desire to service encouraged me to volunteer at the local Habitat for Humanity sorting donated furniture, and at local food banks packing food into boxes. One of the best ways to cultivate happiness is to serve others.
In addition to serving, I worked on my social skills by going on hikes with people whom I went to school and work with. Being affiliated with an organization already removes that barrier and gives you an edge by having something in common. It’s an easier way to socialize with people than meeting at a Meetup. When people see you happy, many want to be part of your happiness.
It’s the process of working towards the goals that’s sexy and attractive to women. You don’t need to be a finished product when you meet women. Just a work in progress. Bringing women into your world, showing them the goals you want to achieve and actually working towards, is what game is all about. When you make them a part of your journey that they believe in, it’s sexy.
Each time a Noy Sauce article is ready for publishing, I ask my girlfriend to review and proofread any mistakes before sharing it. She was an editor for her high school and college newspapers. By asking for her help, she’s involved in one of my goals and it leads to a healthier relationship for both of us.
Contrary to what our largely failed education system and highlights from social media have taught us, the finished goal is not dream itself. The struggles we face as a work in progress is the dream itself.
So while I wait for all the appliances to be installed in our new place, I smile in acceptance that being a work in progress is an opportunity to build even more patience that makes us worthy of bigger goals and success.
Pray. Hope. Don’t Worry. Accept that Anything Worth In Life Requires Patience, Hard Work, and Perseverance. We All Are a Work in Progress.
(Pictures from moving day as the movers packed our belongings to be loaded in the moving truck.)