(The cover photo is kindly taken from Christian Tabernacle)

“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” – Matthew 5:44

For the past week, this quote from the Bible resonated with me. After being part of the Intercessory Ministry in my community for this past year, one of my duties involved praying for people. At first I questioned why I would pray for certain people whom I am indifferent towards or have offended me. “Why should I pray for this person? I already have enough problems in my life” would often be the negative thoughts that first cross my mind. Since the Season of Lent is in a few days from now, I contemplated on a worthy goal that would help me be more understanding of others. That goal is to selflessly pray without expectation.

Being an Intercessor has so far been the most difficult challenge as a committed member of community. Anonymously praying for others involves an intangible form of self-sacrifice, in which those whom you pray for may not recognize your good works, let alone know who you are. You dedicate time in your day a few times a month, and be an instrument of peace so that others will have a better life. One book that boosted my morale this past week, in particular, is “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield. Pressfield states that pursuing any worthwhile endeavor will be met with Resistance. In addition, Pressfield implores the reader to Invoke the Muses, before becoming immersed in work. The more I reflected on Pressfield’s ideas, the more I realized how similar his ideas are when performing acts of goodwill for God. As Catholics and Christians, Resistance is manifested in our self-doubts, negativity from those around us, and laziness to commit ourselves to our faith. Over the years, I have learned that invoking a higher being, such as the Holy Spirit, before serving goodwill prepares us with the appropriate frame of mind. The invocation can be a small prayer or singing a spiritual song. This practice is similar to Pressfield’s idea of invoking the Muses.

At times, I question why I intercede on behalf of others, and why the path as a Catholic feels lonely when I have many problems going on in my life. Unlike many faiths that proclaim prosperity, the Catholic faith is a faith of suffering. The problem is that good feelings of prosperity only go so far, and when adversity inevitably strikes, those who solely relied on the good feelings easily give up. Suffering can be overcome when we switch our focuses from ourselves to appreciation for the goodness that is around us, such as our lives, our family and friends, and our current situations, for better or for worse. When I do acts of goodwill, I learn a new lesson that fosters growth, and heals part of my own brokenness. Knowing that I humbled myself to get out of my own way to be an instrument of peace shows me that our gifts and talents are meant to be shared with others, so that we can be that hope and example those around us are looking for.

“For God’s Kingdom is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of the righteousness, peace, and joy which the Holy Spirit gives. And when you serve Christ in this way, you please God and are approved by others. So then, we must always aim at those things that bring peace and that help strengthen one another.” – Romans 14:17-19

About a year ago, I went to confession and told the priest my frustrations about the lack of tangible results seen from serving others. He sympathized with my frustrations, as he, too, worried about his church being financially stable, despite pleading to his parishioners. He told me, “Instead of raising your hands ready to give up, think of this as an opportunity to take the next step in your spiritual growth and faith.” Reflecting on his words today made me realize that we only have a right to our works, not to the fruits of our works. If we mainly focused on serving to reap the fruits of our service, such as recognition and good feelings, we will be disappointed when those fruits do not appear when we expect them to.

What sustained me over the years in serving was the hope that I will reap the fruits of what I have sown through sincere dedication and hard work. However when expectations fell short, whether due to life circumstances or unexpected outcomes, adjustments in my approaches had to be made. Now I pray for the sake of serving the Lord and others because it is the right thing to do, not because I want to be acknowledged. Now I write new content to share my thoughts without regard on who likes it or not, because my gifts are meant to be shared with others, not meant to be selfishly kept for personal glory and for boosting my ego. This upcoming Lenten journey feels unnerving at first, yet exciting, because of the adventure that uncertainty will bring, for better or for worse.

To end this reflection, I’d like to say a prayer.

Heavenly Father, thank you for the numerous times you have humbled me when I exalted myself too much. You continue to show me that I have a long ways to go in my journey of faith. I am sorry for the backhanded, sarcastic remarks made about the challenges I face in taking the next step in spiritual growth and in faith. I humbly pray for my friends, family, and those who have offended me, that this Lenten season will inspire all of us to make sacrifices for your greater glory. It is when we let the work come through us and give back freely to You, we are as true to reality as it gets. In this we pray through Your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen.